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#CFM

Resistance and Surrender

One thing about the new year is that the beginning of 2017 combined with the darkness of the season just naturally invites inner reflection.

I sometimes wonder about how much we miss because we are in the habit of saying “no”.  No thats not the way I do it, No, I don’t like it that way, No, I don’t care for that or her or him or them….etc

It can be refreshing to pause for a moment when “No” arises and check it out, not with any expectation of change but just with curiosity.  How does “No” feel in the body, notice especially the jaw, the belly, the shoulders, the forehead. Maybe there is tension in the brain. It can be helpful to be aware of how different states of mind feel in the body. Simply gathering information to be able to see and then to choose.

We can use “No” to keep the status quo in place or we can use “No” to give ourselves a sense of safety or boundries.  Those boundries can turn into walls and those walls not only keep others out but keep us locked within.

I offer this poem for your reflection…..

The Healing Time


Finally on my way to yes

I bumped into
All the places
Where I said no
To my life
All the untended wounds
The red and purple scars
Those hieroglyphs of pain
Carved into my skin, my bones
Those coded messages
That send me down

The wrong street

Again and again
Where I find them
The old wounds
The old misdirections
And I lift them 
One by one
Chose to my heart
And I say holy
Holy
-Peshawar Bertler-


Why won’t other people change???

*”When I was a young man (woman), I wanted to change the world. I found it was

difficult to change the world,so I tried to change my nation. When I found

I couldn’t change the nation, I began to focus on my town. I couldn’t

change the town and so I tried to change my family. Now, as an old man (woman), I

realize the only thing I can change is myself, and suddenly I realize that

if long ago I had changed myself, I could have made an impact on my family.

Then my family and I could have made an impact on our town. Their impact

could have changed the nation and I could **indeed have changed the world.”*

*~ Unknown monk*

I have noticed that in interpersonal relationships there is often a rub.  That rub in my experience has to do with my own wanting things to be a particular way, as though there was one right way for things to be.  I find no peace when I persist with this and my relationships suffer.  If, instead, I become an observer of my own desires and attachment to having things be a certain way, I can relax, respond and let go.  

Heart-Based Mindfulness

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